I am a politician, and I’m so full of it
I tell the people what they want to hear, but I don’t mean it a bit
As soon as I get voted in, I can do what I like
I can go right back on my word, and they can get on their bike

You know the truth is right there, written on my two face
On one side, all the answers, on the other, a bloody disgrace
But I don’t have to worry, cos I have got it made
No matter how much I screw things up, I will still get paid

Chorus
I claim lots of expenses, have a little fiddle
I commit lots of offences, and have a little diddle
People don’t know whether I’m left or right, or stuck in the middle
But we can do just what we like, and by Christ we take the piddle

We give you no choice, we won't hear your voice

People put their faith in us, and pay us lots of money
And we all have a good time, it really is so funny
That people put their trust in us, can you really believe?
But half of them are simple, the other half naive

Chorus
They don’t know where they stand, they don’t see my sleight of hand
It’s just a bit of magic, but some would say it’s tragic
But we don’t really care, they should be more aware
If they will let us play, we’ll have our wicked way

Ins

Chorus
We are the politician, on a nice commission
A job of attrition, wearing everything away
We know we're under suspicion, we know we never listen
And even though we're bent, we're still your Government

We’ve let you down on housing
We’ve let you down on jobs
We’ve let you down on immigration
We’ve let you down on yobs
We’ve let you down on money
We’ve let you down on crime
We’ve sold off everything you had
But we have had a really good time

Chorus
Playing in the house, it's just a game of cat and mouse
You have to be red hot, shot, to get one up on the other lot
That's what it's all about, we love a good old shout
But doing a good job? Hahaha! Don't be such a knob!

Chorus
We let the people down, let the non-swimmers drown
Let the people wither, while us politicians slither
Slithering around, what's that hissing sound?
We're always hissing about, when we should be sorting it out!

Chorus
But what do you expect, we are the ones you elect
Not much of a choice, even less of a voice
It's the way we like it to be, and even if you don't like me
Being a selfish dictatorial toff, well you can all just bugger off!