Something’s wrong with the way things are
Something’s wrong, yes, it’s Bexley Council
There’s nowhere to park my car
Something’s wrong, yes, it’s Bexley Council
They don’t listen to us, even when we make a fuss
With a finger in each ear, it’s no wonder they can’t hear

Cram more people into Slade Green
Start to feel like a squashed tinned baked bean
Build more houses, blatantly stark
They don’t provide anywhere to park
They say it’s private land, it’s all part of a devious plan
To screw the common man, with another parking ban

Painting all their yellow lines, dishing out their parking fines
Traffic wardens in their smart cars, coming after you
Waiting for their chance to pounce, just when you think they’re not about
Up they pop and catch you out, and leave you with a poo

Can’t rely on them to do, the simple things for me and you
Autocratic numpty view, this is Bexley Council
Make us have what we don’t want, yes, they are so arrogant
People have to bear the brunt, and pay the bloody bill too

Spending lots of public wonga, making everything go wronga
Never held to account, for wasting such a large amount
Acting like they’re God’s crusaders, but behaving like rogue traders
Always think that they know best, but they fail to pass the test
Unfortunately for us, this is Bexley Council

Even though we appealed, they built all over our playing field
No gym, no tennis and no football, put to death our secondary school
Nowhere to walk the dog, or have a little snog
They did overrule, and left us with sod all

Then we knew they were having a lark, cos they also built on the car park
Painted even more yellow lines, and people got more parking fines
It was just inept, and everybody wept
Hear the people’s screams, with the crazy council’s schemes

Covered the roads in lumps and bumps, with their bloody traffic humps
Bollards blocking access routes, made congestion worse
Traffic lights on roundabout, log-jammed traffic can’t get out
Makes you want to scream and shout, the Bexley Council curse

No right turn into Slade Green, where our roundabout should have been
Have to go an extra mile, down the road and back still
Now they’ve put in traffic lights, with a great big bloody oversight
Cos we still cannot turn right, this is Bexley Council

Interfered with pavement parking, in our road it sent us barking
Interrupted traffic streams, with their silly give-way schemes
Bollards in the middle of the road, where did once the traffic flowed
It’s enough to drive you bonkers, blocked by Bexley Council’s plonkers

Another needless traffic light, stops you with no one in sight
Traffic chaos, tailbacks longer, cars join in and do the conga
Roadworks always causing mayhem, no one’s even working on them
There’s another screwed-up junction, now it doesn’t properly function

Even though we don’t agree, they overrule democracy
We prefer common sense, they prefer incompetence
We write letters and complain, tell the Council they’re a pain
Then they send us their regards, with another load of bollards

Just another load of council bollards in your way
Green unfriendly, waste your time, and that’s how it will stay